With 2017 right around the corner, this post will be used to reflect on my realization that I can’t just be someone’s Cutty Buddy nor have one of my own.
I have a big heart…like, a really big heart. I will give the last water in my car to someone less fortunate even if I was dehydrating. I believe in giving someone your all without really expecting to get it back in return. I guess you can say I’ve realized that with my Cutty Buddy that I will not be taking into the 2017 with me. The penis was off the hook but that wasn’t it. We didn’t do what other “FWB” did. We would make dinner together and sip wine as we talked about our days.
We would lay up in the bed and watch movies and laugh. After we had open-eyed sex, he would pull me close into his chest and wrap his arms around me as we fell asleep. When I would wake in the morning, there he was, right on my back. I got him out of being shy during sex and so now he would talk and admit kinky shit to me. I would like to feel as though his development had a lot to do with my involvement.
Recently, like yesterday after spending the night over his place, I admitted to him via text that I had grown feelings for him. I finally took that chance knowing that there was also a stronger chance he wouldn’t feel the same or not say anything at all which I prepared myself for either or. And I was right. But I am okay. I cannot bring him into 2017, regardless of how good the sex was because I need more than just that.
So with this post, I bid farewell so some good penis and tongue action. I bow away from the girth and deep thrusts. I wave the flag and tap out. He was my only partner for the year and it is going to be tough next year but I’m sure God has something in store for me. I need more than just sex because I’ll catch feelings and give my world to the wrong person.
Maybe I should try women? lol..I’m kidding. I have enough on my plate right now to focus on a relationship but I am sure when the time is right, I’ll know it – hopefully. Until then folks, Happy Holidays and I will see you before we bring in the 2017!!
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