“I need time to get myself together.”
Those were the words that were spoken to me when the love of my life broke my heart. So this post is going to be another true event that actually happen to me. I’m good now but after that breakup I was in a dark place. I had never had a guy in my entire life to break up with me. Ever.
Let’s call this guy Lee. Lee and I met at his job. It wasn’t love at first sight at all. He wasn’t the most attractive guy but he had attractive features. First few phone calls were like watching paint dry on a wall.
He was older but had a young man’s swag and he was a workaholic. I think that’s what drew me in to him. Not the actual fact that he worked all the time but that he wasn’t lazy and he didn’t mind putting in the work. My mind temporarily went to the gutter…If he’s a hard worker …then in the bedroom…
He would come to my job and make comments like, You not married?” “You too fine to be working.” He would always make me blush like a high school girl. He kept my panties in a bunch and a smile on my face.
Fast forward a few weeks.
I decided to give him a chance and a month after I gave him my number we were official.
When I say this man made me the happiest I’ve ever been. Phone calls and texts throughout the day to check on me, breakfast or lunch almost every week, I could talk to him about any and everything. He was literally like my best friend. With him I felt like I could take over the world! He was so supportive and understanding. We would go on dates and he would order for me like he knew all my favorites (I swear I’m not making this up) and the way he looked at me. Gaaaawd, the way that man use to look at me. Like he was making love to my soul and like I was the most beautiful woman to ever grace his presence. I knew there was no such thing as perfect anything but I swear he was perfection. He treated me like a queen.
Well all that came tumbling down.
I’ll never forget the day or the time. Tuesday at 5:45 he told me he needed time to get his self together. I immediately started thinking to myself what did I do. I asked him what did he need time to do. He just repeated what he had said.
I was at a loss for words. My emotions were all over the place. I didn’t understand if I was having a bad dream or if my dream guy was indeed breaking up with me. He said, “You are attractive, fine, smart and you just too good for me.” My response, “So I’m all that and you leaving me? What did I do?” In my mind I had to have done something. I kept thinking was I not available for him enough. Was he giving too much and I wasn’t giving enough.
He told me I had done absolutely nothing and that he was the one that had effed up. I asked him all kind of questions- Did you cheat? Are you going back to an ex? Do you want someone your age? (He was 8 years older than me). His reply. No. I couldn’t hold it any longer and ended up breaking down on the phone. He stayed on the phone with me all night ‘comforting me’.
I decided to go to his house that night around 2am I wanted him to tell me to my face he was done. We had just had a wonderful weekend a week ago. Hell, we had just had a lunch date TWO days ago. He didn’t look unhappy. We both had ordered a steak dinner and shared laughs. I remember when we were walking to his car he grabbed my hand and said, “I love you like I’ve never loved any other woman.” There were no signs that in two days I would be suffering with a broken heart!
Once I got there I didn’t expect him to open the door but he did. I couldn’t read the expression on his face. It was dark inside his house. I wanted to see his face. I wanted the man who had told me every day he loved me to tell me he no longer wanted me.
He hadn’t changed his mind. He still needed to get his self together. My hand had a mind of its own as it came into contact with his face HARD. I wasn’t trying to fight him but I hit him again. I wanted him to tell me something different than that BS line he had given me. He asked me to leave and it wasn’t a polite request. He asked me to leave like he had never told me he loved me, like we hadn’t made plans for our future and like he had never promised me he would never leave me because I was perfect for him. He asked me to leave like I was another bitch he had just fucked.
The next morning when I woke up I was still in shock. I didn’t get any sleep because I cried all night. I checked my phone to see had he called. I had a text message from him that simply said …
To be continued ..
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